goodbye.

boxed out

time to move on.

yeah. precisely. after all this time..i think.. it's best that i do try even harder to move on.. everyday passes by and im getting more and more convinced that she's never gonna see me that way.. no matter how much i love her.. look..if she thinks she can't stand dating guys her age...makes me wonder how many guys her age she has dated for her to make a statement like that. does the guy she's "seeing" at the moment a bastion of maturity at almost 30? ive been told otherwise by she herself. when it comes to maturity its not about the age.. in fact the older people are the more stubborn ones because they already think theyre all that and "matured" isnt it? here i am, keeping quiet about how i feel, trying to be the big brother around the house, trying my best to take care of both the girls.. and i still get statements like that thrown in my face.. she probably has her own justifications for making such a sweeping statement but oh well i cant help but feel a little offended..i guess. she probably doesnt know or care that she did anyway..

other statements like "i think its weird that good friends get together romantically" also convince me that.. i am wasting my time.. though good friends know each other best..thats why when they get together..they really do love each other for who they are.. and isnt that the best thing that can happen? otherwise it'd just be testing unknown waters not knowing what ul get just because it feels "weird if its my good friend". im sorry. im not writing for an audience to read, im just rambling and venting because this is the only place i can..hopefully i can look back on these posts and have a good laugh at it.. oh well. i guess its time to move on..but can i?

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i hope i dont regret posting what i just did........ i just needed to get it off my chest with this being the only outlet usable..i guess ive become good at hiding feelings and intentions.. with the occasional silent outburst..blessing or curse il take it i guess. whoever that read all this and knows who i'm talking about, please do me a little favor and hold your silence...it is appreciated.

What do you do when..you don't know what to do.

football: the new season is here!

WHOHHHH i can't wait for the new season to start. as a MANCHESTER UNITED fan since i was a kid, naturally now i would be drooling just thinking about the prospect of Nani, Anderson and Hargreaves playing in our already explosive team. wonderful, wonderful. They play the best and most entertaining football. Chelsea is a load of shit. Liverpool? well they keep saying before every season that its going to be their year.. but.. here's what i think.

Ahh.. there you go. Even I have to agree with chelsea fans on this. COME ON LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!

A BIG QUESTION

why do people always yearn for those who don't give them what they want or deserve yet fail to appreciate those who do, those who are there..I ain't shitting here. I'm guilty of this.. and i'm sure many, many others are too. Rationality argues that you should appreciate and love those more doesn't it. Something's amiss here. Ahh. i got it. feelings. I would describe it like a msian : "damn cibai wan la!" I feel concerned for those who don't warrant it, and desiring for those that I KNOW not so deep inside that i shouldn't. At the same time, there are some around me which have been so very nice, and i want to show my appreciation for those people..

one of these "people" is N. now N..is really not your everyday girl. I've known her for ..7 years? but only recently she's been showing me what kind of a person she truly is. Caring, reckless, kind and quiet. Not a very common combination methinks. Once she even sneaked her dad's car out and came to my house at 2am just to keep me company. Wonderful huh. and yes, to those people that think i'm all about pussy i did not touch her. she touched me though. it was marvellous, the massage. hahah. so yes .. you know who you are. Glad i kept in touch with you..you're cool. :)